God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
