A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My liver just had a heart attack.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
