no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
