I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
no you cant smoke seaweed
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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