Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
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I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
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my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize