the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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