R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So many bounce houses so little time
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
