My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
