It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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