Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
