i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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