I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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