y did u give ur computer a hand job?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize