I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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