normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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