u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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