you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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