We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
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Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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