My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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