my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I am mentally ready for anal.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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