If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
