got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
