Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
