dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
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I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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