my mouth tastes like poor choices
Buhtt sex?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
