I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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