carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
