Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
