he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You smell like stripper and shame
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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