Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
