you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
