Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
