DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
