he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
