This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
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I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
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Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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