just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.