There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina