And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????