Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.