I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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