I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth