If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.