seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.