Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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