I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
