I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
