what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
