I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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