So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The power of my boobs compel you
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
