Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
