i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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