So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
