Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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