White coat. Heels.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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