I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
