I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This baby is an asshole
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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