hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
