I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize