He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
