just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
