Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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