How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize