my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
