I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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