"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
