so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
