I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He passed out mid-signature
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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