doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
