I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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